Under These Rocks and Stones

Arrival Date: June 25th

Departure Date: Never!

Accomodation: Staying with my sister and her fiance in their 3 bedroom flat in Notting Hill…’cause that’s just how I roll.*

Work:  No, thank you!

Awesomeness: Off the charts!

*Until I get kicked out, of course, and have to find my own tiny bedroom in a house shared with 10 other people.

My passport with my UK Visa arrived yesterday.  I can’t wait to talk like Madonna and abuse my liver.

That’s what it feels like trying to get the proper information for this freaking UK Visa application. Click this, and then this, and then that and then go here and read this, and then click on this and that and then oh, looky here! We’re at the beginning again!

Cheerio!

I think I’ve figured it out finally. Cheeky bastards can’t keep me out! And that bitch with the posh accent on the British Consulate General’s answering machine? She’s really pissing me off too.

to think of three happy things for today, but all I can focus on is my sore mouth/teeth/gums (dentist appt at 9:00 in this am), and my sore chin (mofo of a zit that I’m trying to keep my fingers away from), and this goddamn-never-ending nausea.

Also, I have a birthday dinner party to attend tonight that I would so love to flake-out on, but when you’re one of three (maybe 4), I think that’s kind of mean. So me, my sore mouth, my zit and my effed up appetite are going out tonight. Heading out to “historical Gastown” for some French cuisine. I am trying to get excited about this, honestly, I am. Especially because I will be with two gays and maybe one bi (alright!).

Also, also…I am tired.  So, so, so tired.

The sleeping pills aren’t working anymore.

Oh yeah, I also haven’t pooped in 2 days.

All of these bad things combined, make V a very,very sad girl.

Ok, so here I go…

3 Happy Things:

1. The sun shining.

2. Only 1 more hour left until I can go home and poke at the zit.

3. um, my hair kind of looks ok today?   I just pooped.

This new birth control pill is giving me morning sickness.

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

Last night I couldn’t sleep due to an itchy ass.

Hold up! Let me explain.

So, I’ve been using up my tanning minutes and apparently my skin has decided to give me a big ol’ fuck you by getting extremely itchy after every session. Last night it was my ass. Like, just above the crack. It’s still itchy as I type this.

Last Saturday it was my breasts/stomach. My parents took me out for a very fancy birthday dinner and the whole time I was like holy shit, I need to get these clothes off now – let’s hurry this up people! When my sister suggested ordering coffee, I was like hells no bitch we are going home.

This is probably a sign that I should not continue going, but that would be too easy…

In other non-related news, I’ve started back on the pill. Playing Russian Roulette with my ovaries was getting old*. Yay me!

* I’m being 100% sarcastic here. I always use the morning after pill when I have unprotected sex.**

** This is also a joke. I’m a virgin.***

*** That is 99.87% true.****

****I like making up random statistics.*****

***** I took a Stats course in my 3rd year. It sucked. Or rather, I sucked at it.

1. Friday.

2. Friday.

3. Friday.